Initium Novum

To the people who care enough to read,

Today I begin this blog,which will soon be full of my thoughts and all else I can never say in real life.Let it be known that I am a teenager,as most of you are,and that if my words offend any of you,have my apologies.I am merely speaking my thoughts.I have no one left in life to open up to.No one else will understand the predicament I am facing now.Put simply,I am on my own.

Trust.A big word,yes?The act of placing faith in another person's actions.Leaving it to them to do the things that could bring yourself happiness.Something as simple as leaving something with someone while you go about your duties and commitments,that's already a form of trust.But can we truly place our faith in everyone that comes off as nice to us?Are words now merely a means for people to abuse and make others let down their guard,leaving them vulnerable to the most hurtful actions of others?What has truly happened to the meaning of the word "Trust"?

You see,when you've grown up being bullied,being made a laughing stock of,being stabbed in the back,you begin to put up a wall around your heart.You begin to doubt the people around you.Trust becomes more of a way for the hurt to finally open up to other people.But some people...They abuse that trust.They spill your secrets out.They rip your heart out and tear it to shreds,as if the kindness they exhibited not too long ago was simply...Never there.Who do you place your trust in then?Who else is there for you to talk to when your own family members don't understand you?Teenagers aren't exactly the easiest of humans to decipher.What is the solution when all else fails?

Placing faith in yourself.Only yourself.When you learn to do this,detaching from reality will be like taking candy from a baby.It's simple really.For those of you who know me personally,I have this seemingly boundless hatred for the people around me.Add that on to the fact that I have a pride so big it's even unhealthy for my age,and what do you get?A teenager that takes it in his stride to prove people wrong and even shoot them down when their opinions are inferior compared to his or even those that are worthy enough of clashing with his.Yes,Pride.A sin,yes?A Cardinal Sin.But it's all I have that stands as a protection against Janus-faced people.It also keeps me in the competitive side of everything.It's grown into me so much,that I am aware of my own obsession with my pride.Almost akin to an infatuation with a damsel.A damsel that gives me the drive to move forward and never think twice about making decisions that I believe would benefit me in the long run.

I will end my train of thoughts here,before the words come out any more darker than I intend to.I can never let my dark thoughts take over,for they will only cause someone else harm.Without further ado,I take my leave.

-D.A~